#7

Welcome back. I guess I get writers block for a year at a time, so sorry if you were waiting. I was waiting too. I was going back and reading all my old posts and realized this whole page isn’t about anything at all really. Most people have blogs about food, movies, sports, etc. And then you have other ones about like self-help/self-improvement type stuff. Point is, this aint that. I don’t know what it is. Reading back through the old stuff I was like “damn, this stuff is kinda vulnerable”. Maybe it is. I don’t really care about that. I’m okay with that, not to the point where it’s vulnerable to a fault if that’s even a thing. I’m at a point where I’m okay sharing my thoughts and “feelings” on the internet. We do it every day anyways so what does it matter if I do it on here once a year (plan is to post more often than that lol). I’m not saying I’m out here trying to inspire somebody or influence them to change their way of thinking or the way they do something. But I could. I’ve said it before I think, but this is for me. Just stuff I’ve been thinking about really. Nothing crazy. I think everyone should try something like this at least once. And most people do. Driving home from work the voice in your head starts to ramble about literally anything, typing out a “blog” or whatever this is. In the shower at night; same thing. Laying in bed before you go to sleep (that’s usually what I do and then I don’t feel like getting up to write it down and then forget it in the morning). So I think we all do it in some form or fashion. It’s good for you. Cause I think if you can’t express yourself to yourself, then it might be a little difficult to express yourself outside your own head (im talking about real human beings in your life), which can be hard. Believe me. Alright I’m done with that part. Guess that was the intro.

The year since the last one of these was fun. Really fun. One of the best since summer of 2020 when I started this. I turned 25, which I think turned a switch in my head to think clearer or whatever’s supposed to happen when your brain finishes developing. I travelled the world some more. I learned some pretty good life lessons. Some I found out on my own. The other ones I needed someone to teach me. And a couple just happened by accident (I had to force myself to use “by” instead of “on” cause I can hear my mom telling me why “by” is the correct word). Made some mistakes of course. Nothing wrong with that. The mistakes were probably some of the best things that happened. I love my job. But more than that I love the people I work with. Almost like family, at least most of them. I think the biggest “click” or “ah ha!” moment was realizing how much I cherish and enjoy just spending moments and experiences with people. And really the people that mean the most to me. One of my best friends from college got married up in Philly, and I had the opportunity to go. This was my first real wedding that I’ve been to. I went to my aunts wedding a long time ago and barely remember it. But it was the best weekend I’d had in a long time. Seeing all my friends that I hadn’t seen in over a year was what I needed at the time. It was like a battery got put in my back. Or recharged. Made me feel good. You know what im trying to say. But every part of the wedding was beautiful. The rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, the wedding, wedding reception. All of it. And all I could do the whole 4 days I was there was just look around and just enjoy the moment and all the love that was around me. It was better than any material thing I could want. That was the first time it really hit me.

I promoted at my job in November too. In my uhh line of work, its traditional for those that promoted to cover the bar tab for everyone they work with/for. Some people honor it, others don’t. But the group I promoted with felt like we owed it to everyone we worked with/for to treat them to a night out on us. So we did. And same thing as the wedding, without the anyone getting married part obviously. But it was beautiful in the same sense and different at the same time. Everyone except ONE, I’ve known for less than 2 years. But I feel like I’ve known them my whole life. And I couldn’t be more thanful for them. Because my job is hard. I’m not bragging, but it is. I’m travelling with them for over half the year. We all miss people’s birthdays, weddings, anniversaries. We spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New years together. We do a lot. And that’s a lot to miss out on with your actual family. But when you have coworkers like mine, it’s worth it. They’ve helped me get through more than just struggling with something at work. They’ve helped with just life in general. And no matter how much the day sucked or how pissed off we may have gotten at each other, or sad, or whatever, they were always there. I also work and live with one of my best friends and it’s maybe been one of the coolest parts of my life. Who else can say they’ve travelled to the arctic, past the equator, and everywhere in between in less than a year with their best friend? It’s been pretty sick having him with me. And he knows I love him for it. ANYWAYS, the night we had out was better than I thought it would’ve been. I’d do it all over again to show them how much I appreciate them. But only when I promote next. That was the second time.

I got to go home for Christmas this past year, and this was the third time. It’s always nice to come home. But this time was a little different. I think cause I realized how old I’m getting. My “baby” cousin who I saw when she was first born is taller than me. My other cousin is getting ready to graduate high school. I don’t like it lol. There’s a group of six of us. My brother and myself, and two other pairs of brothers. All six of us have known each other since the day we all gained consciousness. Like when did we start remembering stuff? That’s always been funny to me. Like one day we just woke up and our brain was like “okay today we’re going to start remembering stuff for the rest of our life”. Anyways, the six of us got together for drinks and dinner one night. Before we actually got to the bar and restaurant, we bullshitted for around at my brother's house trying to figure out where we were gonna go for maybe 2 hours. But we went out and it was really cool. We’ve all got our own things going on and it was just crazy to see how far we’ve come and how we always make it a point to link up. I just looked around the table and was proud that I have the friends I have, who are really like brother's more than anything. I got dinner with my brother, cousin, and other friend from high school at our favorite taco spot in downtown Atlanta. Same thing. I was just proud. And blessed. And maybe a little luck in there too. Went to a new year’s eve party that my brother threw. You see where this is going right? Same thing. The place was packed with people I’ve known forever. People I just met and everyone in between. I needed it. Not that I was doing bad. But there’s nothing wrong with feeling better than you already do. Who wouldn't want that? My brother was the DJ for the night and I filled in for him so he could walk around. I think I found my calling. I think I’m supposed to be a DJ. I’m gonna get all the equipment I need and lock myself in a room all summer like Kanye and be the best ever. That’s a joke. The locking myself in a room all summer part. But I could be the best ever. Who knows. And if you think you like music more than me, no you don’t. The only person I know who loves music more than me is my brother, and maybe my roommate.

I always just ramble with these, but thanks for reading if you made it this far. If you just skipped to the bottom, here’s the point. Point is, I’ve come to realize that I value experiences and moments shared with others, and more importantly the “others” in my life more than pretty much anything else in the world. If I won a zillion dollars tomorrow, I wouldn’t be upset in the slightest. Trust me. I’m always going to be happy if I get any “cool” or super nice things. I’m always going to want those things cause that’s just what we do. Everyone wants them. But to me, they just don’t bring as much joy as sitting at dinner with your best friends who you’ve known your whole life and don’t even remember the first day meeting them.